VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Following a series of regrettable public statements televangelist Pat Robertson recently lost his bid to be re-elected to the board of directors of the National Religious Broadcasters. Robertson was understandably upset. “A few poorly chosen phrases and I’m out.” A visibly saddened Robertson commented as he carried a cardboard box, presumably the contexts of his desk, out of the NRB headquarters.

Robertson’s most famous comment was that Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez should be “taken out” and more recently he attributed Ariel Sharon’s stroke to God’s judgement upon the Israeli Prime Minister for releasing the Gaza strip to the Palestinians. “All I meant,” Robertson retorted before entering a waiting limousine, “was that Chavez needed a date and that Sharon…well, Sharon, you know, golfs.” Apparently implying that the stroke was a golf stroke.

In an attempt at solidarity, discredited Christian radio teacher Harold Camping welcomed Robertson. “I understand what it feels like.” Camping said on his radio program “Open Forum.” “Men like Pat and I are easily misunderstood and we’re too quickly rejected after some minor missteps” Camping explained.

In 1992 Camping published a book claiming that Jesus would return in September of 1994. When the Savior failed to meet Camping’s timetable he revised his numbers and claimed Jesus would instead return in 1995. When Christ missed that appointment also, Camping gave up and instead claimed that the Holy Spirit had left all Christian Churches and called believers everywhere to abandon them. They should instead support Christian ministries that are not “churches” but ones that might get the gospel out by some other means such as radio and are headed by older men with big ears and deep voices. Camping and his ministry have been rejected and condemned by Christians everywhere.

Sources claim that Camping has offered Robertson a position on the board of Family Radio. It was not immediately apparent whether Robertson would accept. A spokesman for the Christian Broadcasting Network, Robertson’s ministry and home of the 700 Club, said that they had no official announcement and that they could not comment on what might or might not happen. They immediately retracted that statement as it apparently violated Robertson’s own broadcasting standards.