I got my tax rebate in my bank account today. Now, as I understand it, it was supposed to be $600 for me, $600 for my wife and $300 for a qualifying child. That would put my rebate at $1,500. What got deposited was $1,409. So what is that, $200 for the qualifying child and $9 for the cat?

Will I spend it? How will I spend it? Hum, tough questions. Right now it resides in a comfortable, wall-to-wall carpeted, fully air conditioned, money market account where beautiful slave girls fan it and feed it grapes and 2% interest. I doubt it is going to stay there long. Iron Man comes out today and I feel the need to go see it at a theater with a good sound system and a big screen. Loud and Big seem appropriate. After that? Well, the IRS has determined I owe them some money so it seems they’ll get some of it back. Then Wheaton and BIOLA, for some reason, expect me to pay for my children’s education. Go figure.

In the end, I think I’m going to be a failure as an American. Instead of running directly to WalMart or Target with my Magic Economy Stimulation Wand in hand, I’m probably going to spend precious little in relation to the economy and instead purchase me a few pounds of education for my gene pool. Not very patriotic, I know. I’m sorry.