One Day At Starbucks
or
Bad Theological Humor
by Timothy J. Etherington

One afternoon the Apostle Paul was at a Starbucks talking theology with a group of college kids. As he went to the counter to order another Chai Tea, his shadow happened to fall upon a blind man sitting in a comfortable chair listening to the music and enjoying a tall Cappuccino. Immediately the man was healed of his blindness.

The formerly blind man began to praise God for the healing. A Roman Catholic priest who was just finishing a decaf Latte and was about to leave heard the man and approached him.

"My son, God surely had something to do with this but it was the power of Saint Paul that has healed you! Thank him." The priest said pointing at the great Apostle.

"No," replied the formerly blind man, "Paul wasn't even aware of what happened. This is a miracle of God, Paul did nothing and neither did I!"

The priest sat down in the chair next to the formerly blind man. "My son," he said a bit more emphatically, "as I said, God had a hand in this but it was your effort and Saint Paul's power that has healed you. Didn't you want to be healed of your blindness and didn't Saint Paul walk past you and allow his shadow to fall upon you? These things contributed to your healing."

"But Father, I have wanted to be healed for years. I never thought about miraculous healing, only about medicines and surgery. That didn't change until I could see."

"Please, you mustn't argue with the Church on this issue. Don't let your experience change the truth of the matter." The priest replied. Frustrated by the whole exchange, the priest muttered a blessing on the formerly blind man and left.

After commenting on the beauty of the color of the PT Cruiser in the parking lot and the fascinating lines of the layout of the coffee shop, the formerly blind man went back to praising God for his restored vision.

A man in a Promise Keepers t-shirt on the other side of the shop closed his hardback copy of Desecration from the Left Behind series and approached the formerly blind man.

"God is so great!" He said to the formerly blind man.

"Oh yea! I can't believe that God just up and healed me!" Replied formerly blind man.

"Well, you know, Jesus made it possible for you to be healed, but it was you who made the decision to be healed. God is too great a gentleman to force healing on you. He let you chose it."

"As I was just telling the priest," began formerly blind man, throwing his thumb over his shoulder towards the door, "I wanted to be cured but not healed. I tried hospital medicine as well as alternative cures but I never thought God would heal me. As a matter of fact, till a few minutes ago I severely doubted He even existed."

"Well it may seem like that," the Promise Keeper said, "but that isn't how it happens. Healing is your choice by grace, God leaves it up to you to chose it."

The formerly blind man looked confused. "If I didn't even believe in God till a moment ago, how would I chose for Him to heal me? And what is grace?"

"Well," the Promise Keeper began as he dropped in the chair next to the formerly blind man, "see Jesus did everything He could to heal you and now all you have to do to be healed is accept that gift!" After a slight, smile-filled pause, he added, "Grace is God's Riches At Christ's Expense. It is God's favor on us for no reason!"

The formerly blind man made a passing comment about the way a woman's dress flowed in the breeze as she walked past and then to the Promise Keeper said, "But I didn't chose for God to heal me, He just did. And if I have to want to be healed and accepted it, isn't that a reason for God to heal me?"

Frustrated, the Promise Keeper stood up and snipped, "You're making God into a monster!" And he stormed away.

The formerly blind man took his half-finished Cappuccino and headed for the door. A man who had been sitting near by and listening closed his hardbound copy of Calvin's Institutes and touched the formerly blind man on the shoulder, "Excuse me," he said.

The formerly blind man stopped and faced the other. "Yes?"

"I couldn't help but over hear all that was said," answer the Calvin reader.

"Oh, good. Do you think God healed me?" Asked formerly blind man.

"Those kind of miracles ceased with the closing of the cannon of scripture. You can't be healed," was the Calvin reader's answer.

©Copyright 2002 Timothy J. Etherington
This document is available on line at http://www.byfarthersteps.com/BTH.html

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