Archive for August, 2007

The Minimialist Church

A Welcome Message from Our Pastor

Welcome!

Bert
Pastor Norbert Smith

Opportunities to Serve
Here at the Minimalist Church we want to make very sure that people don’t confuse busyness for discipleship so we don’t do anything. If you are doing something, it could be discipleship or it might not be. Better to just stop in order to be safe.

Church Worship Services
Worship is to be offered in a very precise manner so that God won’t be offended. Therefore we feel it is best left to professionals. Our worship services are twice yearly: Christmas and Easter. Come if you feel you must.

Sunday School
If you’re interested in teaching a Sunday school class at the church, please contact the pastor so he can talk you out of it. No one would come anyway.

Outreach
We’re hyper-Calvinists so we don’t have to do evangelism.

The Ordinances
We’re hyper-Dispensationalists so we don’t have to do baptisms.
We’re hyper-preterists so we don’t have to observe the Lord’s Table (Paul said that we would only have to do it till Christ’s return.)

Statement of Faith

  • We believe that Jesus did all the work in salvation so we don’t have to do anything.
  • Baptism isn’t necessary for salvation so why bother?
  • The Bible is God’s inspired word to us today, we like to call it “Life’s Owner’s Manual” but who reads owner’s manuals any more? Not us, that’s for sure.
  • Our only creed is Christ because none of us could be bothered to read any of the other creeds to decide if they’re any good.
  • Prayer is our speaking to God. However, He already knows what’s best for us and He’s most likely very busy working all things together for our good so we feel its best not to bother Him.
  • End times studies are very time consuming and confusing so we just go with whatever view is currently promoted in the latest best-selling Christian book or movie.

Almost There!

I had a meeting with my professor today and completed the reading program I had taken this summer. That means that I am now done with the academic portion of my degree. All I have let is a part-time internship and I will have completed my M.Div. I can’t believe I made it!

iMac Black Screen

The iMac’s screen went black today. I’m really, really hoping that it is just the inverter card in the display unit. That’s about $70 and pretty easy to replace. Otherwise it might be the motherboard and for the price of one of those, I might as well just get a new computer.

I really love my iMac. 20 inches of display, beautiful design. Sigh. Not a good day.

Update: I had to order the VGA video out adapter so I could verify it isn’t the logic board. It isn’t. Now off to find an inverter so I can get that big, beautiful display working again.

Update 2: I noticed that the one stuck pixel was lit up. So I unplugged the external display and rebooted and it is working again. I hate it when electronics do that. Just as well since I can’t find an inverter card right now.

This Just In!

It is the one great weakness of journalism as a picture of our modern existence, that it must be a picture made up entirely of exceptions. We announce on flaring posters that a man has fallen off a scaffolding. We do not announce on flaring posters that a man has not fallen off a scaffolding. Yet this latter fact is fundamentally more exciting, as indicating that that moving tower of terror and mystery, a man, is still abroad upon the earth. That the man has not fallen off a scaffolding is really more sensational; and it is also some thousand times more common. But journalism cannot reasonably be expected thus to insist upon the permanent miracles. Busy editors cannot be expected to put on their posters, “Mr. Wilkinson Still Safe,” or “Mr. Jones, of Worthing, Not Dead Yet.” They cannot announce the happiness of mankind at all. They cannot describe all the forks that are not stolen, or all the marriages that are not judiciously dissolved. Hence the complete picture they give of life is of necessity fallacious; they can only represent what is unusual. However democratic they may be, they are only concerned with the minority. – G. K. Chesterton, The Ball and the Cross

Correcting Greater with Lesser is No Gain

I don’t have cable and seldom watch TV so I’m not very familiar with Fox’s Father Jonathan Morris. However, having read his response to Bill Maher’s forthcoming show has not bolstered my estimation of the priest’s theological acumen.

Let me back up and explain. Bill Maher is a funny guy. He is also a skeptic and is supposedly working on a documentary on the absurdity of religion. And by ‘religion’ of course he means Christianity. In steps Father Morris who offers to correct Maher’s misunderstanding of the faith.

At this point it is important that I point out that Father Morris is a Roman Catholic in case you missed it. Theologically, Rome is a mess and I don’t just mean ‘they don’t agree with me.’ I mean that though there is an official catechism and an infallible pope and all that, their housekeeping is no better than Fred Sanford’s. I say this because I don’t know how faithful to official Roman Catholic doctrine the good Father is. My impression is that he is within the pale of current Roman orthodoxy and that means that he can still be wrong and wear a white pull-tab collar on his black shirt.

Okay, so any way, Father Morris offers to correct Maher’s misunderstanding of Christianity. On the error scale of zero to ten, Maher (as reported by Morris) is pegging at about 9.75 and when Father steps in to correct that he’s ranking about 4.3. Arbitrary numbers all. So I’m going to correct Morris’ correction of Maher.

If Christianity really taught that the man in the jungle who has never heard the name of Jesus is going to be damned forever to hell, I, too, would doubt. But Mr. Maher, Christianity doesn’t teach that.

That’s right, people don’t go to hell for living in the jungle. But that isn’t what Father Morris means. Here’s the rest of that paragraph:

We are responsible to God in as much as God reveals himself to us. Christianity teaches that the saving grace of Jesus Christ is bigger than our date or place of birth. Christians believe God gives all of his children, in ways often unknowable to our little brains, the opportunity to accept or reject his love.

The first part of this quote is quite correct. We are responsible to God based on how much he has revealed to us. But what does Paul say about that?

For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. – Romans 1:19-20

That man in the jungle doesn’t get off because no one has told him about Jesus and therefore he isn’t responsible. Paul says “they are without excuse.” That man in the jungle knows enough about God to be held responsible. By the way, this makes the skeptic Maher responsible too. The fact that he’s (hopefully) researched Christianity for the documentary means that he’s even more responsible than George of the Jungle.

What Father Morris should do is not dismiss the culpability of the theoretical Tarzan but offer to the Maher before him the hope of salvation in Christ. So Bill, if you read this, know that you have been given much more information about God that the man in the jungle. You have much more evidence before you as to the truth of God and you need to trust him the way he is asking you to. Jesus’ died in the place of people who don’t believe in God and don’t live the way he says to. Jesus also came back to life so that we could be made right with God despite what we’ve already done and said and believed. Trust Jesus to make things right between you and God, Bill, and then live like you do.

On to correct Father Morris’ next incorrect correction.

If Christianity really taught that people with homosexual tendencies are all going to hell, or that somehow they are not God’s children, I, too, would doubt. But Mr. Maher, Christianity doesn’t teach that.

This time it isn’t so much what Father Morris says, as what he doesn’t say. He’s right, God doesn’t send people to hell for having homosexual tendencies just like he doesn’t send someone to hell for living in the jungle and not hearing about Jesus. God sends men and women to hell because of what they have done, not what they feel or don’t know.

Post-modernism doesn’t much care for absolutes and therefore sin is a silly, old fashioned idea. And since there are no absolutes and sin doesn’t exist the hell is an abomination. When Bill Maher ridicules the idea of sending any one to hell what he needs is some straight answers about truth and absolutes. I mean the chap has invited such corrections, hasn’t he? He’s making a documentary about the absurdity of religion and an absurdity is “something that is irrational, incongruous, or illogical.” So Maher must be measuring things against some standard of ration and logic. There is an absolute then, isn’t there? And so we could lead Maher down a discussion of how to determine what those absolutes are. If they are merely Maher’s opinion on the matter, why trouble other people about it. Religion is not absurd to me so why bother documenting it?

I don’t know if Maher is even worth answering. His documentary may in the end simply demonstrate his own ignorance on the subject and show his folly to the masses. But if someone does undertake to answer him, I hope they do a better, more thorough job than Father Morris did.

Hey!

Can you believe it! A bunch of strong Biblical scholars went and stole the title of my blog post and turned it into a book!

Kidding aside, this looks like the kind of treatment of the subject that I think is needed. Some good authors were involved and I think an edited volume with multiple writers is the way to do it.

Yea, this one goes on my wish list.

Friday Photo

This is a sight I see from the train on the way to work. The car is always there. This photo came out okay but not as good as I was expecting. Still, enjoy this Saturday edition of Friday Photo.

Blogs and Podcasts

I am considering a podcast.  A friend from seminary usually greets me with one word: podcast. So I’m considering it. I have the first edition scratched out and want to have the first year outlined before I go to step two. It would be fun but it is a lot of work too.

Obviously, I’m a blogger. You’re currently reading my blog.

So why the title of this post? Because I just listened to one of my favorite podcasts and at the end there was a plug for voting for it in some competition. It hit me at that point. Many blogs and podcasts have become commercial enterprises. Voting for a blog or a podcast seems like giving your buddy props (and in some cases it is) but really the big winners are commercial site, not po-dunk ones like mine. Notice that I don’t have any advertisements on this site? Support for this comes out of my pocket.

So what? Or “duh”. Yea, I know, it seems like I’m slow to catch on. But the issue is that what used to be a Web 2.0 kind of thing got taken over by commercial operations. I’m part of the “problem” since I read Gizmodo.com and Lifehacker.com about 50 times a day and listen to the Grammar Girl podcast. So how do we fish through the professional podcast and blogs to get to normal people? Do we want to or need to? Do regular chumps like me simply regurgitate the links promoted on the commercial sites?

I don’t know. I’m not sure. I know that I write on things that I think about. On the left side of the blog I have an “Other Reading” list of links I find interesting. I guess the way to connect to personal sites rather than commercial ones are what could almost jokingly be called the “traditional” method: links from sites you know. I get a lot of hits from my sending church, Steve, and Tom. People sometimes find me by Google searches. I know I’m rather picky about outgoing links.

And to be honest, professional writers should be writers who are good enough to make people want to read them. I have no delusions of being as good a blogger as Doug Wilson or as successful a podcaster as John Piper (not that either one are a problem, just that they’re better than I). But I think we must be aware that there are professional bloggers out there. The very soul of blogging has changed from the early days. 1I’ve been blogging in one form or another since April 12, 2002 and I’m fairly new to it. Blogging used to be a grassroots thing and has grown into a somewhat less regulated media outlet.

AND? And nothing. But just be aware that when you vote for professional podcasts or blogs you’re really helping their bottom line. The more successful they are the more they can charge advertisers. And it isn’t just hit counts that matter, these kinds of ‘awards’ help too. Think of the internet as your mail box. The professional blogs and podcasts are catalogs and the personal ones like mine are a hand written letter from a friend.

Sincerely,
Tim Etherington

1 I’ve been blogging in one form or another since April 12, 2002 and I’m fairly new to it.

Friday Photos

We took a LONG walk at McDonald woods. There were a lot of flowers blooming but I thought the Black-Eyed Susans were the most interesting.

Lisa got this one of the three “girls” sitting on the patio.